being a cancer is hard.
My recent interest in astrology and the signs of the zodiac have led me to conclude that I fit the mold of a Cancer to a tee. Apparently I am ruled by the moon (which is fitting due to my almost nocturnal pattern of sleeping). As one website says, “It is fair to say that most Cancers are a bundle of contradictions.” This goes hand in hand with the analogy that is drawn between a person who is born under this sign and the animal that represents them; a crab.
Physically, crabs have a hard exterior and a soft interior. Cancers are known for their impenetrable exteriors, and their correspondingly volatile interiors. My impenetrable exterior has led to me being misunderstood by many. I know people who have been easily intimidated by me, which is something I have in-turn used to my advantage. I have also used this shell to hide my insecurities. Some people are good at expressing their self-doubts to others, but I have buried them so deep in the sand that at times I forget they even existed. Alas: my short-lived solution to this perpetual problem.
Cancers are known for living in the past, whether it be reminiscing over childhood memories or holding a grudge forever. We become nostalgic easily; old photographs arouse strong emotions within us. Our memories are hoarded away forever. This trait of a Cancer can be such a gift and such a curse. Recalling upon these pleasant memories can easily be overcome by the negative memories that forever dwell within our subconscious.
These memories, whether positive or negative are stashed within the Cancer’s vault-like mind forever. For those who attempt to understand a Cancer they are almost at an immediate disadvantage. Cancers remember everything. Speaking from experience, if a Cancer female was damaged by a former suitor, all of the subsequent admirers are treated as if they had mistreated her in the exact same fashion. The Cancer sees this as a way to protect herself from the same destruction she has already faced.
While Cancers find it extremely difficult to let someone in, conversely they are easily romanced when the right words are said. Cancer females have an ever-present desire for flattery and encouragement due to the fact that there is almost always a deep-rooted insecurity and uncertainty within their minds.
For Cancers who acknowledge this trait, it may cause them to question any sort of compliment or positive attention they receive; for those who have not yet discovered it this may lead to trusting someone too quickly making themselves vulnerable and exposed. For those who do not know me well, my external disposition may be the only part of me you have seen. I urge you to be patient and give me time to show you who I really am.
Among all of these intensely perplexing traits Cancers are well known as the homebodies of the zodiac. Taking a Cancer out of their home for an extended period of time is like removing a hermit crab from its shell, leaving the Cancer feeling isolated and anxious. Growing up I never thought it was weird that I was always the one who had the sleepovers and it was always my house that everyone was at. At the age of 19 things haven’t really changed in that regard.
I believe this contributes to why leaving for college has been such a challenge for me. Departing from your home requires one to create a makeshift house where you reside to complete your studies. You move your belongings into a dorm or an apartment and some call this home. I’ve never been able to bring myself to call these places I stay “home.” To me my apartment is a house. Nothing comes close to replacing or filling the emptiness of being away from my home. The physical structure doesn’t define a home; it is those who dwell within it. I worry that because of this attachment I have to my home and family that growing up will be a challenge for me. But it just helps to remind myself that (God-willing) one day I’ll have my own home and my own family.
These awkward years of transformation from a young adult into a real adult are just that - awkward. They are emotional, difficult, exasperating, but eventually we all hope that they will be rewarding. So for all of you Cancers out there (or anyone feeling this way for that matter), keep your head up and your dreams in mind. Reach for the stars, or in our case, the moon.
